Part 3: All grown up

A few years ago I started running near my house, and I lost 3st in just over a year. I lived on my own at the time, and I did it surreptitiously – I hated to admit I wanted to lose weight, and I pretended it just “fell off” on its own. I have always had a fear of being shown to try and to fail, preferring not to be seen to try at all. I also started going to a personal trainer once a week (twice a week during the summer months), who kicked my butt and taught me if not to love, then to like running. I even did a 5k and finished in a decent time.

I think I was lulled into a false sense of security as I was doing quite a bit of exercise as well as watching what I ate. I’ve never been a huge success at keeping tabs on my eating – I’m fine with logging every mouthful, but when it comes time to keep within “restrictions”, I am less than great. When I stopped doing as much exercise, I gained the weight back in half the time it took to lose it.

When I met my ex I was taking a break from work and uni, we spent much of it  eating 2 roasts a day with the full trimmings, pasta and pesto with mountains of cheese as a snack, and drinking wine. It was almost of Henry the Eighth proportions, though I never ordered anyone beheaded. Roman bacchanalian feasts, minus the vomitorium.

In that year I also went on the Pill for the first time since high school, and we did little exercise other than going to the shops to buy more food. I gained so much weight, and I became less and less happy. I hated being fat but it was just so hard to get going again. I tried running again, but with the extra weight I hated it. Everything became difficult, even walking to the shops!

This time last year I bought myself an iPhone, and one of the first things I searched for in the App store was a weight loss tool. I had originally set out looking for a WW tool, but there wasn’t one at the time. There were hundreds of Apps that promised to count calories for me though, so I chose the one that seemed the most user-friendly and went for it. The App I chose was MyFitnessPal.

If I am completely honest with myself, I didn’t really do it wholeheartedly to begin with. I logged every morsel I ate, but I still ate whatever the hell I liked. I kept gaining weight or staying the same – in six months, I’ve only managed to lose 10 lbs – and much of it has been gained and lost and gained again.

In April 2010, I joined a gym. Twas a very expensive gym, especially as I’d signed up with a personal trainer as well. I went a couple times a week to begin with, but then started going to 3 sessions a week doing kettlebell training on a PowerPlate. I loved it. I actually noticed a difference, especially in my strength and endurance. My trainer kicked my butt and made me work really hard, and I loved the structure of it. I’ve never been good at doing exercise by myself, as I lose interest so easily. I need a focus, and that is why I have always benefitted when I’ve had a personal trainer.

In August I was injured in an accident on my way home one weekend, and I was unable to continue with the training. I was gutted, but there was nothing that could be done so I just took a break from exercise for awhile. I had some minor depression after the accident and suffered a loss of appetite; I felt queasy all the time and generally unwell. When I wasn’t at work I would just go to sleep. It was a bad time for me, and I’m so happy that period of my life is behind me.

In September 2010 I went back to uni to study full time, as well as working part time  – I’ve always preferred being busy as I get bored so easily.

So here I am. Welcome to my world!

2 thoughts on “Part 3: All grown up

  1. Good luck, and how brave of you to share your journey.

  2. Thanks, that’s so sweet! No I’ve put it into writing it may (hopefully) be the kick I need to succeed 🙂

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